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The DirtBags Called to Service "We will get Mike a kidney," says Prez. In a season where the 'Skins are 3-8 it's hard to get excited about much. But this year, the RAC President has found a new passion - helping new RAC Member Coach Mike find a new kidney. "Coach Mike called me and said he needed a kidney and could The DirtBags help," said the President. "I said 'Hell yes' but he'd better hope he didn't get Larry's. He said he just wanted us to record a song, which was totally cool." So this is simple. Coach Mike needs a kidney, and soon. Hail to the Redskins!
Sean Taylor Inducted to Ring "He was the best" says The Spokesman.
The President still mourns the loss of 21, but is proud to say he saw all but one of Sean's games at FedEx Field. He was not only the best safety to ever play in the NFL, he was a righteous dude. It's a shame he had to die to prove this to the world, but he will always be a RAC Member. RIP Sean.
Petitbon "Hired" Before Gibbs? "I can't believe nobody's talking about this," says Prez.
A young GM with a brash owner promotes a defensive assistant to coordinator while they look for an offensive-minded head coach. Has to be the Redskins. But this is a story from 1981. And the defensive assistant's name was Richie Petitbon...
RAC Exclusive: Read the story from 1981
Slingin' Sammy - None Greater "Jim Brown couldn't carry his jock strap," says Prez.
It is hard to believe that a player who won the NFL Championship game in 1937 passed away in 2008, but what is harder for the RAC to understand is why Sammy seems to get the short end of the stick when it comes to who was the greatest who ever played the game. Most say Jim Brown was. The RAC stands firm that Jim Brown wasn't half the baller than Sammy was. But decide for yourself...
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"Prevent Offense" Fails "Zorn needs to play to win," says Prez.
Jim Zorn has invented a new offensive scheme. It's called the Prevent Offense, and it's designed with one overarching goal in mind: Don't turn the ball over.
"Some teams get carried away with scoring,' said Zorn. "We want to make sure, first, don't turn the ball over. Then second, try to score. That's how we think ball games are won. Turns out though, I may be wrong."
That, my friends, may be the wisest thing Jimmy Z has ever said.
Eye on the Dirties
Here are what they're saying about our upcoming opponents in their hometown. Not a whole 'lot a positive things about the 'Skins this year...
New Orleans Times-Picayune.com
The best thing about losing to the 'Aints will be everyone else has too. But if we win... Oakland Tribune.com This could be for the #1 pick. Would almost be a shame to win. NYPost.com For a bunch of professionals the giants seem less impressive every day..
Zorn Admits Reality "I'm afraid of touchdowns," says Zorn.
Doesn't it seem like forever ago when we were all laughing about the Z-Shades and chanting 'Hip, Hip Hooray?" And now, it has even gotten to Jim "The sun will come out tomorrow" Zorn. In fact, sources inside Redskins Park say that is why Zorn is so down. He is afraid of scoring, especially touchdowns.
"It stared at the end of his time in Seattle," said and inside source. "He didn't score in his last three games, and he was having the best time of his life. Cocktail parties, ukulele recitals, rock climbing - Jim did it all. Touchdowns just lost their luster. He never got it back."
London Goes Bonkers "dallASS didn't deserve win," said Fletch.
Of all the players that give it their all every week London Fletcher is s star among even the locker room bad-asses. But after the loss to the cowfukks, he actually claimed dallass didn't deserve to win.
"Of course they didn't deserve to win, you idiot" said The President. "But they DID win, and that's what counts. If games were decided on who should have won, the Redskins would never lose."
DirtBags Hit #6 on YouTube "Art Monk deserves this," says Lefty.
The DirtBags YouTube hit Put Art Monk in the Hall of Fame is now #6 for all searches of Art Monk on YouTube.
'It's a big day at RAC HQ, that's for damn sure," said The President. "I told Kiki she could take a half day, and we're fixing to break out the karoke machine any minute now. Let's party!".
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Backups Lose Just as Good "Our starters ain't even playing," says Mason.
The Redskins may have lost 11 starters for the year, but if this season proved anything else, it's that the backups lose just as good as the starters - maybe even better.
"Really, if you look at it, the games recently have been more exciting - right down to the wire," said RB back-up Quinton Ganther. "So one could argue these games are better than the ones with the starters, 'cause at least we keep it competitive."
Zorn Gives Fiery Speech "We still take pride in losing," says coach.
Great football coaches often give great speeches - think Lombardi, Graham, Allen. Jim Zorn? If his speeches are any indication, he is at a distinct disadvantage. Case in point: After the NY Vagiant's game, Zorn actually said that losing "...wasn't that bad, the giants are professionals."
I can only imagine if Coach Lombardi was alive to hear that. Or God forbid George Allen, who said every time you lost you dies a little bit. Zorn better start caring about losing. Or he's going to lose something he might care about - his job.
Zorn Promises More Tricks "I love the Statue of Liberty," says Zorn.
In the wake of the Redskins latest loss to the cowpukes, Jim Zorn has promised to return to his roots: More trick plays.
"In watching the film it was obvious why we lost - we didn't try any trick plays last week," said Zormmie. "We can't win like that. That's not Redskins football."
Zorn Applies for High School Job "I am keeping all options open," says Z-man. The Redskins loss may very
well be South Effingham High School's gain. Head football coach
Greg Manior has told local CBS affiliate KNVY that Jim Zorn has applied
for the position of QB coach, vacant due to the untimely death of South
Effingham Mayor Timmy "Spudz" Orchids in a freak potato accident at the
Ore-Ida factory. Spudz was also the QB Coach for the Mustangs.
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